So, what IS this thing about bikinis? I mean, everyone wears them.. And it’s nothing unusual for every single person at the beach to wear them. Perhaps, this is just what we do and there’s nothing to it. Now, I probably sound like the typical Utah “mormon” girl, but there’s much more to it. About 8 months ago, I watched a youtube video that forever changed my perspective.
Jessica Rey’s presentation/research on bikinis, for some reason gave me multiple thoughts.
Have guys looked at me as an object while in a swimsuit? Do they even take me serious? My ex boyfriend always commented about my body in a swimsuit… Did he even care about other things other than what I was wearing? Why did I begin wearing a swimsuit in the first place? Like, I don’t even feel comfortable wearing them, anyways.
AND, so the list went on and on. I knew the standards of my church and I knew that wearing a bikini wasn’t the most righteous thing to do, but I have the type of personality that does not like people telling me what to do, so when I do something, it is out of my pure will.. With that, I NEVER felt completely comfortable in a bikini. I always felt kind of “dirty”, in a sense. I just felt very uncomfortable in my own skin. I became self-conscious of my body and how others would see me.
I finally decided to make my first big purchase on a one-piece swimsuit from Anthropologie. I was so excited, because I had fall break coming up and I was going to California with a bunch of my sorority sisters. Eventually, I got my swimsuit and I FELL IN LOVE. I wore my swimsuit to California where we had met up with some other Fraternity guys we knew. I remember being scared to death what the other guys would even think about it. Unexpectedly, I had two guys right off the bat compliment me. And, after talking with these guys they actually sat down and talked to me about real life conversations. We had deep conversations and actually connected. I felt like they genuinely cared about what I had to say, other than how I looked. I was so happy about the choice in swimsuit I had worn, and from then on, I was convinced to wear a one-piece/tankini.
The more I decided to wear modest swimwear, the more compliments I got, which eventually led me to feeling more accepted and happier with how I looked.
(swimsuit from Anthropologie)
The purpose of this blog post isn’t to tell you that you NEED to wear a modest swimsuit because that is solely your decision and opinion. This blog is to let you know that you don’t always have to wear a bikini just because “it’s the thing to do.” I’ve struggled with so many self-esteem issues and by wearing modest swimwear, I actually feel comfortable in my skin. I’ve had friends who have seen me wear a one-piece and they actually went and bought one because they felt the same way. You aren’t alone. I was scared to death because I didn’t have any friends wearing modest swimwear and I didn’t want them to judge me. Sometimes, you have to be yourself and have faith in your decisions. You shouldn’t base your decisions on what someone tells you or expects of you, and that’s why I changed the way I present myself while swimming.
It was such a small and simple decision, but it has changed many thoughts about myself and also, how others perceive me. I can let loose on the beach and jump over the waves without feeling like my whole swimsuit is going to come flying off. I feel more mature, like others look at me on the inside instead of the outside. I feel more secure in my body. I’m not going to swim because I want to show off my body. I’m there to swim, or else I would probably just enter a bikini contest and post pictures of my body.
With that said, I hope this post at least helps one person who was feeling the same way I was. I didn’t take a full on picture of my swimsuit that I just bought, but here’s a little sneak peak showing the top half of the tankini. Thank you Albion Fit. I LOVE LOVE. And, stay tuned for many more modest swimsuits to come… I’ll post some on my instagram @ryry_shae. I just bought two more from a website. I’m obsessed!
Til next time,