Wow.. Big break from blogging! I haven’t had one second to write any thoughts or ideas down in a while. It has been so crazy with school, dance, coaching cheer, and wedding planning. Yup, you heard it. Wedding planning! If you didn’t know already I’m getting married next month. Today, I would like to write about mine and Brax’s story because it was not easy finding out that Brax was going to be my always and forever. This blog post is long because it is a documentation of our story that I would like to keep for our future and future family.
Growing up, as most of us know, is hard as heck to figure out what love is and who we need to do date. I grew up with some wonderful guys in my hometown, Brax included in that group. Brax was one of my best guy friends and like I used to call him “my little brother.” Haha, he hated that… Well, still does. But, all of those boys were never really datable because they were friend zoned after the 9th grade. I was ready for new, fresh, hot guys.
In high school, I felt the fun, pain, and heartbreak of love, much like every girl does. I had never been so torn apart in my life over anything. Going into college, made it even messier. There were so many people and how could love just work out with one person. I was so lost and I wanted to know who my “one” was so badly that it made me crazy. I remember my freshman year going to a fortune teller, on my birthday, with some girlfriends. I asked my fortune teller about love and who I was going to marry. She simply told me I was going to marry someone I didn’t know. As I walked out with my friends, I turned to them and said, “I know I’m going to marry someone I know, I can feel it.”
The next few years of college became a let down. It felt like every single person I knew was getting married and people always told me they were “surprised I wasn’t married yet.” What does that even mean? Does that mean you think I’m a bum for not getting married yet? Or does that make me crazy? Little to say, it was hard. But, it shouldn’t have been because all good things would come, eventually.
I dated. A lot. It came to the point where I had dated so many amazing guys that I broke down in tears.. All the time. My prayers became different. ” Dear Heavenly Father, I want to get married. I have met so many amazing men. Please, make it work out with one of them. Please. I’m sick of the games. I’m tired of going on dates and meeting new people. I’m ready to find someone I can be with forever.” I became so confused in the church. Is there “a one” made for you? If you can choose who to marry, then how come it isn’t working out with anyone? I became more than frustrated.
I finally took a step back and let the Lord guide me through it. I began to receive revelation. I am going to let you in on the revelation I received because it is the reason for my story and I believe the Lord agrees it is safe to share (but I will leave out the depth of it because I don’t want to offend the spirit.) I received revelation that I had a missionary out in the mission field. I did not know who it was, but I had strong ideas, Brax included. I faithfully followed this revelation and prepared myself for an RM. Dating was still really hard because once it got serious, I had to tell them that I couldn’t be completely serious with them until the last RM got home because of prayers and revelation. That was tough to tell, but I knew I needed to.
I prepared myself and when the time came for the missionaries to come home, I had never been so happy in my life. I knew it was right. I had times in sacrament where I would come to tears because as I was pondering I had more revelation that it was right. Now, as the first came home, it wasn’t working. I started to have doubts. I didn’t know if these revelations were made up in my head. I thought I was just getting my hopes up. That’s when I met someone who it was working out with, for once in my life, but we were dating long distance. I began to think the revelations were made up. However, there was still a slim chance. When Brax was about to come home, I wondered if it would work. He was always my best friend and like family to me. I didn’t know if those feelings would come back or if we could build something new from those feelings. It was a scary feeling, but I was excited to see.
The day that Brax was coming home, I debated on going to the airport because his dad had told my brother for me to come. But, I decided to wait, just in case it was too weird for him. I remember texting his friend all day waiting anxiously until he was released, so I could see him. Finally, the time came. I hopped in the car and drove to his house, which by the way is 8 minutes from mine. Best. Thing. Ever! I was anxious. And even a little shaky. I prepared myself for anything to happen and knocked on the door. Unexpectedly, Brax opened the door. He was so much older and mature.. And he grew! (Sadly he has the short genes in him too.. Our kids are in for a rough one haha) Hugging him was such a great feeling, being reunited with one of my best friends since I was 8. I felt at home. That night he was going to play basketball at the church with his friends. His dad told him to ride with me over to the church, if it wasn’t too awkward for him. So, we did. After ball, we went to In-N-Out and got some shakes. We caught up and I even showed him a couple slow songs. He was so awkward, but also such a cutie.
Two days later, we hung out again. We watched “Now You See Me,” which I thought was not a bad show. I mean, I had seen it before and thought it was just about these cool magicians who alter reality. However, at the very beginning there is a small sexual scene, in case anyone was wondering… With him being an RM and not seeing a movie in 2 years, it made it very problematic. I thought, “Oh great, he’s going to never date me after today.” But, I put my hand over his eyes and everything turned out okay… Good thing. We hung out all day long and later in the afternoon, we went on a hike with some of his mission buddies. He sang church hymns all the way up, but somehow I thought it was cute. We stopped for a second in a little open area, up the mountain. We talked for a minute, and I knew that he wanted to kiss me. I mean for him being an RM, it was pretty obvious. That’s where we had our first kiss since being home from the mission. (Yes we did kiss a couple times before the mission.. But that’s a whole different story to share!) That night we watched fireworks up on the mountain and laid there talking until midnight. We still had that best friend relationship, like we did growing up.
It became difficult because I knew I was dating someone else in another state and I didn’t know if it would work out with him or Brax. But a couple weeks later, I went to Island Park and met up with Brax at his cabin which was a half hour from my campsite. I stayed a few nights with his family and he stayed a few nights with mine. After that, it was an honest game over. I met up with him again in Lava Hot Springs on the way home, for his family reunion. I knew he was who I needed and wanted. From there, it was a straight rode that only led up.
Now I’m blessed enough with someone who, in my eyes, is completely perfect. He has all the qualities I wrote on those little lists growing up. He is a strong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints with a knowledge, faith, and testimony that inspires me every day. He is the most genuine and kind person I have ever known, serving and giving to others daily. He grew up in an amazing family, who is much like my family and enjoys the same activities. He reminds me a lot of my dad and my dad’s qualities. He is hardworking. He knows how to make fun out of anything and is just as adventurous as I am. He wants a family and wants to raise them in a way that I also want. And not to mention, he’s hot. Like really hot. So ya, he’s pretty perfect.
After a long journey, I know it all happened for a reason. I learned many valuable lessons preparing for this time to come, in my life. Most of which, I hope, others can take.
- If a guy shatters your heart, move on. You’ll find someone else.
- There are amazing men out there EVERYWHERE. Don’t get stuck with men who don’t treat you right.
- Don’t let anyone tell you to get married- it comes naturally.
- Trust in the Lord. There is a plan for you. If you pray, follow the commandments, and press on diligently, that plan will come.
- Sometimes Satan gets in the way. Don’t let him fool you. Your plan WILL work out.
- Those little list of qualities you used to always write growing up… You can have all those in a man.
- All good things will come.