Here I am, on a redeye flight. Not sleeping. Just thinking. And I thought of something I wish someone would’ve told me. Something that someone would’ve warned me with a long time ago.. But nobody told me. So, I figured it out to share to those who need to hear it.
Marrying Brax was by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and with that, I have learned more about love than I ever thought I would know. I’ve learned to love him unconditionally and he’s learned to love me unconditionally. We’ve learned how to treat each other as we would want to be treated. We’ve discovered how to be a true team. We know how to work together. In general, we have learned a lot.
Throughout all the learning, I personally have learned something that I find the biggest discovery of love yet. One night, we were laying together talking, like we always do. And we began to say those cheesy lines, “I love you” “No, I love you more” “Well, I love you most” type of thing.. But then it hit me and I told him “Actually, I don’t love you more.” As bad as it sounds, it is 110% true. I don’t love him more. I don’t love him anymore than he loves me. I know for a fact that he loves me just as much as I love him. That’s the best feeling I could ever want for myself or others. Just knowing that the person I love most does love me most too.
I can tell by how he is more than willing to bend his back for me and help me out. He knows what I’m thinking even when I don’t even know what I’m thinking. The little notes he leaves to remind me that he loves me and always will. The way he smiles when seeing me after a long day of work. I can tell that he loves me. He loves me just like I love him.
If you don’t feel that the person who “loves” you doesn’t love you the same as you love them, odds are, they probably don’t. Or maybe you’re insecure. But why would you be insecure with someone who you should be so comfortable with? Think again. If you love them more, then why are you settling? Why do you deserve someone who isn’t capable of loving you fully? Or vice versa. It’s not worth it. You deserve so much more. Trust me.
Now, if someone would have told my 16 year old self that, then maybe I could have saved some heartbreak. So, I want to tell you, whoever you are. You shouldn’t love them more. Feelings should be mutual. If they aren’t, then save yourself the heartbreak. Because I promise, it’s not worth it. You can try to make someone love you more, but that’s not how love works. Naturally, they should love you equally.
It’s pretty simple.
So, I am proud to say “I don’t love you more.” Because I love you just as much as you love me and I always will.
p.s. Sorry if I made mistakes #tootiredtofix