What an unexpected first Mother’s Day. I guess in my head, I had a pretty little picture of what Mother’s Day would be like and it did not live up to my expectations. I don’t feel like sharing too many details, but I want to share the most important and what I learned.
In church, during our class time for primary, we had a traumatic experience with Ivy. We were busy helping 12 little ones make their moms a special card. It was chaotic and in that time, Ivy scooted around underneath us. Somehow, she found something, which I still haven’t identified (we are thinking it was one of the tiny buttons we used for the craft) and tried to swallow it. Now, Ivy has choked many times, but this time was different. I saw my baby girl struggle for minutes. From gagging, throwing up, not breathing, turning colors, foam coming out of her mouth, and the pain in her eyes as it tried to go down.. It was one of those moments that replays through my head constantly. It will never leave my head.
After the experience, I would not let go of her, as uncontrollable tears soaked us both. My husband drove us home and I held onto her in the front seat of my car. I could not let go. As we were driving, my husband told me that was her gift to me. To make me appreciate having her perfect little soul with us. Leave it to Ivy to give me that kind of gift.. Haha.
Throughout the day, I kept having flashbacks and would get shook up again. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, but I needed time to just think about what the day had overall taught me. I took a long drive around the city, played music, and just thought.
I know this thing happens to many people and some worse than others. Luckily, everything turned out alright, so I knew it was a lesson to be learned.
Being a mom is hard. The hardest part is that I find myself so busy that sometimes I forget all that I have. It’s moments like these that remind me that I am blessed with everything. It also taught me that Heavenly Father has a plan for each one us, and He is always watching over. I knew he was there. The spirit told me to just wait it out, so that’s what I did. I feel so blessed to still have my little one and also my husband that will always love and protect us. So grateful.
Without the hard times, we wouldn’t have any good time,