Let me start out by saying that I’d like to call myself a master discoverer. Sometimes, I like to pretend I’m some sort of scientist. Okay slow down Rylee, you’re acting like a child, you honestly could say that you like to play pretend like a little kid? Yes. Abso-freaking-lutely. I pretend I am a master scientific-discoverer almost EVERY day. Not because I like to reminisce on the beauty’s of sweet childhood freedom, where every day consists of “pretending” to be whatever you want to be, but because I like to discover things. Actually, I LOVE to discover things. I love to discover things about myself and the world around me.
There is a feeling of utter freshness that exists under every little discovery. Why is that? Well, because when you discover something, it is brand stinking new. New like that shirt you just bought last week. You probably remember thinking “man I look good today,” as you put on that simple brand new shirt. Because this shirt had it’s newness and freshness, you felt so good you could scream up on the highest mountain, “I Feel Pretty!” Wait. A little too dramatic? Yes. But, you get the point. You feel good when something is new. And that there, people, is why I like to be a discoverer.
A couple weeks ago, maybe you read my blog about my no-makeup search for a discovery. THAT was an example of a self-sought out discovery. But, I must say my favorite discoveries are the ones that aren’t up to me, but are instead lead by the beautiful graces of God. What I didn’t know was that God had a treasure hunt planned for me this summer. A treasure hunt to find SO many discoveries about myself and the people around me. I’d like to share one of my favorite treasures. I discovered how I felt about myself and the world around me.
When Brax and I started dating, my heart, head, and soul just felt like it was in the right place. I felt so incredibly happy, nothing could compare. I felt so invincible like the whole world literally could be placed in my hands in any given second. This feeling continued on until I got pregnant, now pregnancy was this amazingly beautiful thing, but it literally drained the life out of me. The continuous sickness grew into a depression that stemmed off onto my husband, and unfortunately our marriage. I mean, I would LITERALLY lay on the couch for days in the same worn out t-shirt and shorts, managing to stuff just a couple saltine crackers down my throat. You can imagine how a husband feels if this is what he comes home to after work every day. Not cool. And in all reality, it drained the life from our marriage. Now, this doesn’t mean we fought, but it was almost like happiness just didn’t thrive like it did before. When Ivy was born, of course her sweet spirit lifted ours, but lets be honest.. I still wasn’t jumping for joy with genuine happiness ringing throughout my soul.
Gosh, it’s so painful to look back and see my poor empty-hearted soul. I’m here to tell you that YOU are in charge of your happiness. Ya, I had some tough patches to get through, but at the end of the day I was doing absolutely nothing to help my happiness. Instead, I was wallowing in the sorrows of my poor sickened heart. Boo hoo Rylee. You are sick as a dog. Okay, lets make it better. What are you going to do about it?
Did you guys know that your brain is hypothetically like a big ball of magic muscle? The more you workout this muscle, it grows. But, there’s also some sort of unknown magical power that exists within it. When you tell your brain you have or want something, it stirs up a magical potion like a witch during the witching hour, and POOF! It appears. JK. But no, this happens, just not quite as fast. When you tell your brain you have or want something, constantly, it will work its magic until you have it. Thank you brain for giving me a helping hand this summer because man did I need it.
The last few weeks, for me, have been life changing. Not life changing in the sense that everyone else can see all the powerful effects I have been feeling, but man have I been feeling them. All because I took myself back to where I was a couple years ago and decided to start fresh. I tapped into that power that every person holds within their self, that literally unleashes the scary thoughts of the impossible to the bright idea that the impossible can indeed be possible.
Today, I’ve become aware of my body and my surroundings and have tuned into what will make the greatest impacts on my life and others. For example, I listen to motivating books and videos to get my day started. I watch my mouth when all I feel are the penetrating thoughts stirred from anger. I cook delicious dinners to welcome my husband home. I light up the candles and maybe take a relaxing bath, at the end of the day. I am sure to point out the positives before the negatives.
I’m here to tell you that maybe you need to be a discoverer yourself. Discover what really is stopping you from making you happy. Discover the person you want to be and don’t be afraid to keep pushing towards your dreams. All you need is you, God, and that magical little brain of yours. You’ve got this. Be the discoverer you were meant to be.
Lots of loves,
The Discoverer Herself